I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
