Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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