Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
