big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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