I wish I could teleport
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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