I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
not ubering you a puppy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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