I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize