Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
