? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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