Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
