I cannot find my penis.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
