if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
