I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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