There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
