he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
