office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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