I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
