when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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