I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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