so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
be right there i have to get my cape
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
