chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
