I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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