if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sober January is a disaster.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
