i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
