you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
