Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
