Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
