Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
