there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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