I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
