i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
they're like a gay fantastic four
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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