If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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