somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
