he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
