I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
