erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
