i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
