Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
