How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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