so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
