i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
