Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
