I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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