scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just gargled with NyQuil
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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