forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
