this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize