i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
