We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
