The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
