Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
