she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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