I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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