If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
