"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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