i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
