My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
