I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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