If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
