I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
