Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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